Worthless Soul
by Laugh.Away
Summary: Please tell me now, do I still deserve you?


My first songfic!

Please read and review!  
>DISCLAIMER : I DO NOT OWN THE SONG AND LCDO<p>

Worthless Soul

Title of song: Feel My Soul by YUI

I wish the day could have been longer. I wish I hadn't shouted at him. I wish hadn't run away. I wish I hadn't.. I wish.. he could just forgive me for one last time. For all the things I did that upsets him. I wish he would still love me.

I stuffed the earphones to my ears and played the song. The song that really describes me now. The song that could calm me down, at the very least. As I walked down the road leading to my house, the lyrics started to sing out.

_Naki tsukareteta n da toikakeru basho mo naku  
>Mayoi nagara tsumazuite mo tachi tomarenai<em>

_(__I'm worn out from crying, there's no place for me to ask questions  
>Though I'm lost and stumbling, I can't just stand still<em>_)_

Why is it that I am such a sensitive person? Why is it that I can never hold my tears back?

I feel very doubtful now. Why is it that people have to hurt someone else's feelings? Don't they how it feels like? But I guess I'm just being a hypocrite now. I hurt other people's feeings too. I hurt HIS feelings. Someone very special to me. A lot of times. Will he be able to forgive me?

_**You should be stronger next time, Kaho-chan.**_ I know it, Kazuki-senpai. I always thought that I have been strong. But I guess not. There's no way I could be as strong as you. I always hurt your feelings, but there has never been once that you cried, or even show a sad expression in front of me. Now I feel extremely guilty.

Sometimes, I wish I could be colder, like Tsukimori-kun.  
><em><br>Kimi ga kureta egao otoshita namida wa  
>Boku no mune no fukai kizu ni furete kieta<br>__(__The smile that you gave to me, the fallen tears  
>They touched a deep wound in my heart, and made it disappear<em>_)_

Your smile. I love it. I don't think I could ever smile like that.

The song kept playing. Slowly but surely. Such a nice flow.

But every time you smile, I wish that it was only meant for me. I don't care what other people say about me being selfish. I just want that smile of yours.

Sometimes, I wish I could be friendlier towards you, like Tsuchiura-kun.

_I feel my soul Take me away sou tatta hitotsu wo  
>Kitto dare mo ga zutto sagashite iru no<br>__(__I feel my soul, take me your way, that's right, everyone is  
>Always searching for that one thing<em>_)_

Yes, I'm searching for you now. Searching for your love. But I'm just to shy to say that I actually love you.

Sometimes, I am like Shouko, very shy.

_Sore wa guuzen de wa nakute itsuwari no ai nanka ja nakute  
>You're right, all right<br>You're right, all right Scare little boy  
><em>_(__It wasn't by chance, and it wasn't a fake love either  
>You're right, all right<br>You're right, all right, scare little boy__)_

Yes, I do. I love you.

Sometimes, I wish I could be more open with my feelings, like Yunoki.

_Nando mo kuri kaesu dou ka ikanai de  
>Sasayaku you na kimi no koe wa itoshikute<br>__(__It repeats over and over, please don't come  
>Your whisper like voice is lovely<em>_)_

Your voice, yes, your voice. I wish I could hear that everyday.

And not only Shimizu-kun who has lovely, angelic voice. You do have that angelic voice too.

_I feel my soul Take me away mou furimukanai  
>Kitto kono te de ima tashikametai yo<br>__(__I feel my soul, take me your way, I won't look back  
>Right now, I want to be sure of it with my own hands<em>_)_

I want to hold your hands now. I wish I could..

_Itsu mo tanjun na hodo kurushinde__ikite yuku imi wo shiritai kara  
>You're right, all right<br>You're right, all right Scare little boy  
><em>_(__Suffering is always so simple, I want to know the meaning of life  
>You're right, all right<em>_)_

Kazuki, please remind me again. What's the meaning of life? Why am I here? Why do I have to face all these problems? Why can't I just live life as it is? Why?

_Sotto tsubuyaita kimi no kotoba you say it  
>Ugoki dase mienai kedo michi wa hirakareteru<em>

_(__The words that you softly whispered, you say it  
>Start moving, the road is so opened up that it's like you can't see it<em>_)_

Yes, I guess I have to start I new love life with you Kazuki. Are you willing to accept me? Do you still consider me as your beloved?

_I feel my soul Take me away sou mogaki nagara mo  
>Kitto kono mama zutto aruite yukeru<br>__(__I feel my soul, take me your way, yes, even as I struggle  
>I'll always be able to walk along like this<em>_)_

Thank you for leading me since the start. Thank you for not giving up on me. And even if I said I hate you for a lot of times, I still love you. Kazuki, believe me, I still do. Will you wait for me till I'm ready? Please don't leave me, Kazuki.

_Sore wa guuzen de mo nakutte arifureta yume nanka ja nakutte  
>You're right, all right You're right, all right<br>__(__It wasn't by chance, and it wasn't an everyday dream either  
>You're right, all right, you're right, all right<em>_)_

Sometimes, I wish real life was a dream, and our dreams are the ones which are real.

_Itsu mo tanjun na hodo kurushinde yorokobi no imi wo shiritai kara  
>You're right, all right<br>You're right, all right Scare little boy_

_(__Suffering is always so simple, I want to know the meaning of life  
>You're right, all right<br>You're right, all right, scare little boy__)_

I wish.. Kazuki, I'm sorry. Please forgive me for one last time.

I waited for his familiar footsteps to get nearer and nearer, like how he always chases me before everytime I broke down and cry. But all I could hear is the endless zephyr that blew past me.


End file.
